Wedding Invitations:  Who should I invite and what about children?

Plans for my upcoming wedding include many guests.  More than expected….I would really appreciate feedback on your thoughts regarding children at the ceremony and reception, if you should feel obligated to invite every member of the family and what other people think an average number of guests are invited to weddings.

 Personally, I do not feel that children should be at the ceremony or reception.  My reasoning for the ceremony is behavior.  I intend on having a large wedding in a cathedral church.  You cannot say “bring your children only if well behaved.”   It will be very formal and babies crying or kids running around and laughing would be rude and inappropriate.  As such, I just assume do not list children on invitations.  For the reception, young children really do not need to be there in my opinion.  They may be bored, uncomfortable, wild, unpredictable….. I think you understand.  Obviously, as a child, I grew up in a very strict household and was always on my best behavior; which is the reason for my fear of anything different.  Is that how many people see the children aspect of weddings?  It just doesn’t seem to be a place for a lot of fun for a child either, and to be honest, limits the number of mouths to feed to a certain degree.

As far as family goes…….should I feel obligated to invite my 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th  cousins, aunts, uncles, etc…..  If I hardly know some of the people in my family is it offensive not to invite them?  I know there are definitely a few that I do not want to attend, and by sending an invitation would be putting myself in jeopardy of being subject to guests I do not necessarily care for.  However, I do not want to offend anybody.

Lastly, how many friends are reasonable?  My fiancé and I are trying to manage our proposed guest list and are having a difficult time between friends and family.  It seems to be very difficult not to invite all our friends and family without upsetting people, however, it is not affordable for us to consider that option anyway.  I will obviously have my closest friends in the wedding party and some additional friends, but how do you limit the number of people?

We have just been looking over guest list after guest list and wind up adding people not subtracting like we need to.  Any advice?

I'd love to hear your comments at: http://www.ourweddingproposal.com/index.php?topic=340.0